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Losing Myself, to find Myself

We laugh now, but 20 years ago not so much. It was our first time canoeing 🛶 together, which ended in a big fight.

First, neither one of us knew how to communicate in a loving manner that comes from trust.

Second, both of us naturally wanted to lead. Additionally neither one of us knew anything about leading in a healthy and respectful way that would compliment each other’s abilities. Basically, we fought against each other in hopes to dominant and have position that we thought would give us respect from the other.

Third, at the time, neither one ☝️ of us knew that it would be a long and rough journey before we could truly understand the sacrifices it would take in a marriage.

Now, we laugh 😆 together in the car about how the both us just turned in circles for hours, before giving up. Also, note 📝 we were both 😡 at this point, which caused division. And, it even gave false perception about who we truly are as individuals and leaders, which effected our parental roles and kept us at odds for years.

Joe asked “ how have we grown from that day?” I said.

Looking back, and now knowing myself better, I would probably just grab a separate canoe 🛶.

Joe laughed 🤭 and replied , “ so what if there is just one canoe 🛶 and just the two of us, without the kids?”

I said. “Well, I think 🤔 we both have grown in trusting one another, which allows us to give one another freedom in letting the other lead when needed or wanted.”

There is so much to know about one ☝️ another, and it is definitely a priority that both parties in a relationship must grow in understanding their spouses, just as much as themselves.

Looking back now, I recognize that it was during these moments that we began to see what each of one us is capable of. We had to access and be honest in our understanding our own strengths and weaknesses, and realize it is a growth process.

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